Friday, October 19, 2007

Yarn and yearning

Fall is here. The leaves in the park are changing and the sky was overcast today, and the temperature is dropping this evening. This barometric change coupled with the call that my beloved yarn has finally arrived at my favorite yarn store has unchained the Beast of Knit. In the past few days I've finished a scarf, knitted two hats, finished one bunny and started on another toy.
I picked up my yarn a couple of days ago, and want to make bright orange and green and yellow ocher bunnies. I'm fixated. I want to knit them with button eyes and button hearts, like this one I made while Burke was still safe and sound in his little water world. Every child should begin life with a bunny. Sigh.

I think it's time to send out another box of hats to the NICU. I keep running across more and more hats I've stashed here and there as I dig through the crates of yarn. They're beginning to pile up again. This time I'm wanting to include some bunnies. Maybe some kittens, too. I guess this is how it's going to be as we're entering a new season without our son. B fixated on the progress of the house (he's currently applying yet another coat to the counters to make them PERFECT), while I'm becoming fixated with the handcrafts; I've been thinking about this method of processing my grief. It's as if the act of creating items of comfort for another person's struggling child will somehow return a bit of comfort to me. Well, no... I think it's simpler than that. I think it's just the sheer act of giving that brings a dullness to the constant ache in my heart. Just enough to give me a small reprieve.

Well, time for a cup of tea, and back to my needles. I have a pair of arms to knit up. And maybe a nice set of long ears.

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